Dear Survivor Of The Still Uncertain World

How Are you?
Hello, how are you?

Yes, I am you but I come from deep inside. I am a truth beyond the smile and resilience that you show to the world because you have been the model of strength. Let's talk for a while and discuss the things you have gone through in the past year. You may be still at home but you have gone through a lot. Sometimes it almost brakes your spirit, but you are still here, and you are still fighting.

I know you are a good guy in general with rare quirks and mischief. But generally you are good, which keeps you on the right track. But can we talk about last year again? It was quite an exciting string of events that led you through things you never expected.

Remember that last year we got to eventually ease up with the lockdown and somehow we are getting invites to online events to have that feel that this will be the new normal. You can now go further with transportation now available. At some point, we were able to cross the bridge to Makati which was the furthest you went to. 

So how was the world outside? Yes, there were a lot of new things built yet many businesses have closed which made us sad. We remember the liveliness of the places before the virus and how many people would enjoy themselves, have fun, and sometimes go to the beach or tourist spots for a getaway. Sadly even after more than a year, we are still indoors and unable to even do handshakes with anyone.

I miss the open spaces.
Remember those months leading to Christmas? We won  a big amount of cash in a special online gameshow. Probably the biggest you ever won in your lifetime. It was something surreal yet the memory is still fresh. And there were also a lot of wins we got during the Christmas season, a happy memory indeed.

Now comes 2021, the year of promise to go back to normal life. Vaccines were developed yet the supply is limited for the billions of people which does not guarantee the swift reversal of the pandemic. We still need to wait and continue with status quo.

With the money we got, we also invested on a tablet to finally continue our drawings and digital art. The experience is inspiring but we still have a lot to learn. Balancing everything is not easy and we began to sleep late which we found ourselves finishing at the break of dawn.

Mama got sick :(
Sadly, the stream of income is slowly diminishing, fewer clients, late payments, and a looming health problem slowly eating our hopes as the month comes and goes. The remaining prize we got eventually ran out and yet a bigger storm brews.

Mama got sick at the start of March, it was not COVID but she was feverish and had stomach aches. It got to the point that we have to rush her to the only hospital available, where people with COVID are also treated. She was vomiting and light-headed, since we had no choice and patiently waited for a doctor to attend to her.

After checking her and doing some tests, the doctor said it's likely to be a bacterial infection in her gut which causes the pain and fever. With my remaining money, I bought all the medicines and as she recovers at home I have to monitor her fever and also other symptoms. We finally tried online consultation to further analyze her situation, and this also meant more medicines and consultation fees. Though we view it as a better option than to be in the hospital.

Eventually Mama recovered but it took a toll on us emotionally and financially. Months ago, we were confident with the money in the bank but sickness is indeed an expensive bitch. I also feared that if I also fell ill, no one would be able to take care of me.

It was depressing, yet your personality and history at least kept you from breaking down to surrender, that is both ok and not ok. It's great to have resilience during those times of crisis but pretending to be strong is also not healthy, it will take it's toll soon.

Still thankful despite hard times.
A month passed and we celebrated our birthday. We were really thankful for all the gifts we've received yet a void is growing because of anxiety of the future, finance, and health. The month of May came and we found ourselves having a poor stream of income which bothers us so much. We tried to stay calm and assess possible future revenue that keeps up afloat. Else, we would resort to using my savings.

Sadly it did reach to that point, using up all the savings to pay all the bills and supplies. The monthly maintenance of medicines became scarce and the budget for groceries were also cut down. With this, anxiety grew bigger and now it brings a depressing vibe. 

Probably a silver lining with these unfortunate events is an unexpected support from creators of TikTok called GeekTok PH. They are content creators of various geek topics which we can also relate to. From online strangers, we become online friends that share experiences and also our interests. Also inspiring to continue our niche, our personal account grew to thousands of followers. It was with this friendship that helped us in getting through a dilemma that we are still facing. 

Fully vaccinated at last!
Another thing we are thankful for, is that both of us are now fully vaccinated which at least gives us a fighting chance against the virus. Though we are still strict with sanitization and boosting our immunity. It did also boost our confidence to someday get back out into the open and hope many would also have the opportunity to be vaccinated so we can go back to normal.

Indeed it is still an uncertain world we have to live in, we now fear debts more than the virus now because of our situation. It's also hard to live with anxiety yet we will try the best that we can to overcome it because that is part of the human struggle and existence. Even after the pandemic, we can still be survivors not just of the virus but also of other endeavors as well. 

What the future brings is still hard to know, happiness does not last forever, so is sadness. This truth is what makes us survivors and we will live everyday for our goals and purpose. Now that we shared our story, I hope you are doing well too.

This story is an entry to ComCo Southeast Asia’s “Write to Ignite Blogging Project Season 2: Dear Survivor”. The initiative continues to respond to the need of our times, as every story comes a long way during this period of crisis.  The initiative aims to pull and collate powerful stories from the Philippine blogging communities to inspire the nation to rise and move forward amidst the difficult situation. The “Write to Ignite Blogging Project” Season 2 is made possible by ComCo Southeast Asia, with Eastern Communications and Jobstreet as co-presenters, with AirAsia and Xiaomi as major sponsors, and with Teleperformance as sponsor.

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